You Don’t Have to Know. You Just Have to Be Ready.

There was a time in my life when I knew something had to change, but I had absolutely no idea what that change was supposed to look like.

I had been searching for answers for a long time. I had tried many things, and when they didn't quite answer the questions I was carrying, I simply kept looking. I moved from one spiritual class to another — from spiritual art classes to Kundalini Yoga teacher training and all sorts of other things in between.

I was looking for the thing.

The thing that was going to answer it all. The thing that would finally explain what I was feeling, who I was, and why I knew there had to be more to life than the patterns I kept repeating.

And that is why I found myself on that beach.

I remember sitting there deep in meditation, my hands resting on my heart. I was confused. I had been searching and searching, but I still hadn't found what I was looking for.

Yet underneath all of that searching was something much simpler.

A longing.

A deep longing in my heart that I knew there was more to me than the life I was currently living.

I had repeated the same patterns enough times to know that I didn't want to keep living them. I knew I was more than what I had experienced so far, more than the expectations and conditioning that had shaped me, but I didn't know how to step beyond them.

And so, in that moment, I threw up my hands to God.

Even then, I wasn't completely sure I believed in God.

But I was ready.

I said, “I am ready. Please show me who I am.”

I didn't have a plan. I didn't know what I was asking for exactly. I didn't know what was going to happen next.

I simply knew I was ready.

I believe our questions matter. There is something about a genuine question asked from the heart that sets something in motion. The universe responds to our questions, and I believe finding Modern Mystery School was a true result of that moment on the beach.

It wasn't another class I had found to add to the collection.

It was the beginning of a path.

Looking back now, I can see that I had been searching for an answer when what I really needed was to become willing to receive the next step.

And I think there is an important distinction here.

We often believe we need to know before we can move forward. We want to know what is going to happen, how it will happen, whether we are making the right decision and where it will all lead.

But sometimes readiness comes before knowing.

Sometimes you don't know what the next chapter is going to look like. You simply know that you are ready to stop repeating the old one.

This is something I have come to understand deeply through Initiation.

Within the Mystery School tradition, Initiation is not simply about learning more information. It is a declaration.

It is a physical and conscious declaration to yourself, and to God, that you are ready to take another step.

Ready to lead yourself more consciously.

Ready to take greater responsibility for your life.

Ready to expand beyond the place you have been standing.

Ready to leave behind the parts of yourself, the patterns and the ways of living that you have genuinely outgrown.

You may not know exactly what you are saying yes to.

But you know you are no longer willing to stay where you are.

That was the spirit of my own first declaration on the beach.

I didn't know what I was ready for.

I just knew I was ready.

Since then, I have received many Initiations from the Lineage of King Salomon, and each one has marked another point of progression in my life. Each time, there has been a willingness to let go of something I had outgrown and to trust that there was something beyond it.

For me, that has meant repeatedly stepping beyond what I could see from where I was standing.

It hasn't always been comfortable.

Growth rarely is when it is real.

But I can honestly say that every significant evolution in my life has involved this same willingness: to say yes before I could see the whole path.

I have run marathons and half marathons up mountains many times, and I know what it feels like to physically push yourself beyond what you thought you could do.

But without a doubt, nothing has made me stronger than making the declaration physically to myself and to God that I am ready.

There is something powerful about taking something that has been felt internally and making it physical.

You are no longer just thinking about change.

You are standing at a threshold and saying, I am ready.

And this is where I think the role of a Guide is so important.

You don't need to have all the answers before you begin.

You don't need to know exactly where the Path will take you.

You don't even need to understand everything that you are saying yes to.

Your Guide is not there to live your life for you or tell you who you are. A Guide helps you prepare for the work ahead. The Path is still yours to walk.

I look back at that woman sitting on the beach, hands on her heart, completely unsure of what was coming next, and I feel an enormous amount of gratitude for her.

She didn't have the answers.

She hadn't found the “thing.”

She simply had a longing in her heart and the courage to finally say:

I am ready. Please show me who I am.

That question changed my life.

And perhaps there is a question waiting for you too.

Not necessarily, What am I supposed to do?

Not, What is the answer?

But simply:

What am I ready for?

Because you don't have to know.

Sometimes you just have to be ready.